Why do They Let Idiots on Airplanes?

So, I'm sitting at the puter surfin the net and listening to my favorite talk/news station when word comes that Canada's premier leftard activist has just made a high level pass over northern Alberta.

Following the flightpath of pioneering leftards like Stephane Dionne and David Suzuki we now have Maude Barlow taking wing in an effort to shut down the oilsands. Unlike Steph and Dave, Maude is taking a different tact. The instrument of destruction is no longer Co2, that's so yesterday......It's the water people!

With skepticism about Anthropic Global Warming increasing amongst the unwashed masses the left is feathering the prop.

Maude Barlow, the recently appointed United Nations Czar of water is slapping her beaver tail to warn the rest of us beavers about the coming doom. Now water is Maude's area of expertise and having toned down her American hating schtick with the rise of the big O, she is properly positioned to chastise big oil.

What all these high flying leftards have never done is set foot on the Muskeg. Think slough with twice the mosquitos and half the charm. That's the bush side of it but Maude's real beef here is the water. Fair enough.

Having spent a good portion of my younger days either in or on the Athabasca, Clearwater and Horse I will point out to Maude that the oil leaks into the rivers naturally. Pitch the Cree in the area call it. Great stuff for patching canoes as explorer Peter Pond discovered in the 1780's.

A viscous tar like substance that literally oozes out of the steep banks along the aforementioned rivers, oilsands or tarsands is literally the lifeblood of the region and in fact a huge contributor to the financial life of this nation.

Maude would shut down all development of this NATURAL resource because some oil might get into the river. If she had bothered to get near the water, rather than jetting over the area, she might have discovered that the oil is, was and will always be a part of the 'natural" environment.

Details like that are hard to see from on high.

I hate pretentious idiots.

Syncro

P.S. Maude if you happen to catch this I recommend you rethink The Lord Of The Rings reference because you're looking and sounding more and more like Gollum each day.

I Was Wrong...My Depth of Shame is Only Surpassed by My Newfound Enthusiasm!!

I was wrong...horribly wrong!... In prematurely writing Stephane Dionne's political obit I missed the obvious. Although it is true he has relinquished the leadership of the LPC, I did not account for the groundswell of grassroots support this wily politician had in reserve.

In the era of digital democracy nothing is certain and the case for Stephane illustrates the power of the people. An evolving on-line petition aimed at convincing Stephane Dionne to stay on as leader of the LPC is at this very moment gaining momentum.

Canadians from all walks of life are swamping the site to show their support for the little intellectual who would. Directly from the site I've taken the liberty of lifting some of the more poignant pleas.

From Family

555.

Celine Dion

He's my brother!

From the Gay Community

549.

Niel and Bob

You can come over to the gay rights party, it's just a party and BYOB.

From Stoners

538.

The Marijuana Party

Our only hope to have marijuana legal is gone

Meat Eaters

533.

J.C. Reid QC

Stephane Dion is one BIG THANKSGIVING TURKEY & Conservatives are still giving thanks. ARGH!

The young

337.

Larry

.....Can I please have some more Kool Aid please?

Rural Canadians

405.

Celmo Muckridge

Why that speech Mr. Dijon gave on the picture box near made me cry. I swear that is a smrt man and he don't deserve no shuckin and trashin like he done got. Yesiree that man is smrt.

Mothers

598.

Mother Cherniak

Stephane gives my boy a reason to live

Fathers

480.

P.E. Trudeau

A true Liberal intellectueal and he should tap into his Dionmania side.

The Compassionate

310.

Scott Janke

Can't we just let him start over again?

Not so much

307.

D. Legace

Stephane should stay but not as leader. We can find him a spot in the mail room

It's clear to this citizen reporter that a political groundswell is afoot. At the time of this filing nearly one thousand Canadians had weighed in support of Dear leader Dionne.


More as this develops:

Syncro

UPPDATE:

I've just checked the "Stephane is a Leader" site and just as I suspected the tsunami of support for Steph is swelling. As the poll surges towards the millennium mark many more concerned Canadians are speaking out.

More Moms

878.

Dion's Mom

Stephane..did you clean your room like I asked you to?

Co-Workers

848.

John McCallum (again)

Stephane, I drink to your success! Burp!

There have been instances of cyber-vandalism on the site including:

Grumpy old men

790.

David Suzuki

You did it all wrong, you idiot. we need someone else

Grumpier old men

668.

jackass

stop encouraging him...

All in all the fate of a defeated/interim/retired leader is in the balance and an
anxious nation waits.
Syncro

I Come not to Praise Stephane but to Bury Him.

The backpack toting little intellectual who epitomized the ivory tower arrogance of the LPC is all but politically buried. The funeral will be held tomorrow, in lieu of flowers the Librano family asks that donations be made in his name to The Liebral Party of Canada.

Stephane was a shining example of Liberal political expediency. He first gained national recognition for adopting and championing The Clarity Act on Quebec Separation. In true Liberal form he failed to recognize the true authors of the act, Preston Manning and Stephen Harper.

Stephane was also Environment Minister under Jean Cretien and participated in negotiations around the Koyoto Accord on Greenhouse Gas Emissions. As Environment Minister he spouted many platitudes and did nothing to meet the contract his government signed.

Stephane surprised many when he won the leadership of the LPC in 2006 with a symbolic array of green scarfs and vows to slay the Co2 dragon. This led to his Green Shift Carbon Tax for social welfare programs approach to potential governance. Given the apparent global cooling and increasing global economic uncertainty, Green Shift was seen as taxation without justification. Done deal.

Stephane was pre-deceased by Jason Cherniak, Garth Turner and any semblance of principle within the LPC.

Stephane is politically survived by a bankrupt party, his professorial pals Bob and Iggy, Jane Taber, Craig Oliver, Jim Travers and TorStar (for now), Justin Trudeau, Warren Kinsella and a myriad of socialist Canadians who are entitled to their entitlements.

He will be sadly missed by both large and small C conservatives alike.

Viewing tomorrow @ 2:00 pm EST, internment in academia to follow.

Syncro

The Day After

Out of respect for Stephane Dionne and all he has done to advance the conservative cause in Canada I have temporarily changed the name of my blog to Stay Stephane Stay.

I'll speak from the heart for a moment and say this: Not since Preston Manning has one man done so much to expose the inadequacies of liberalism. From intellectual superiority through moral and practical turbidity...from the depths of entitlement through the breadth of arrogance...You, Stephane have it all in spades. For these and other qualities I will go on record as advocating for your lifetime appointment as leader of The Liberal Party of Canada. There is no better man for the job. Hang on Steffy....hang on!

That said....I must address my predictions. Sadly some of them were inaccurate. Point by point:

1. So far no word from Warren Kinsella vis a vis his tactical brilliance. It seems he's preoccupied with commentary on the final presidential debate and the untimely passing of Franki Venom. As one of the founders of Canadian punk legend Shit From Hell one can understand how a middle aged punker might be too devastated to toot his own horn.

Result: Indeterminate

2. Jack didn't claim victory but my kitchen table is happy.

Result: 1/2 point

3. I gassed this one. Heddy Fry did in fact retain Vancouver Center and all the junkies quit doing heroin.

Result 0 points

4. I pretty much nailed this one. Garth lost and announced he will be printing a book as well as heading south to give advice to American realtor's. Garth really knows how to pick a nag..doesn't he?

Results 1 point

5. Lizzie lost. The other stuff was just my romantic sense of karma.

Result 3/4 point

6. Nailed this one too the tee.

Result 1 point

7. Of all my predictions this one grieves me the most. I will miss Frodo. The market for unintended satire has crashed with no savior on the horizon. These are dark days indeed. You should really read it all....the part about the Chinese made me weep. Nuff said.


Result 1 1/4 point

8. Stephane came through and earned the tittle of the greatest political strategist the Conservative party never had. His issy fit was short and as passive aggressive as on would expect.

Result 1 point

9. Nailed this one also . Incremental change. Decisive action when you have to.

Result 1 point

10. This one remains to be seen.

Result 0 points

Six and a half out of ten ain't that bad....but there are still balls in the air.

Syncro

p.s. Stay...Stephane ....Sttaaayyyyyy!!!

Update: Someone by the handle of Warren K left a charming although somewhat off topic comment. Thanks for dropping by Mr. K and good luck with your reading lessons.

Election Day Predictions

Today being the big day I decided to regale you all with some poignant predictions. In no particular order:

1. Regardless of the overall outcome, Warren Kinsella will claim he knew better....many within the LPC will swoon with awe and admiration.

2. Wacko Jacko will claim victory....kitchen tables and main streets around the country will feel appreciated.

3. Hedy Fry will be out moonbatted in Vancouver-Center...The MSM will proclaim this as a breakthrough for the Greens (as opposed to the Red-Greens). None will acknowledge the moonbattery of voting patterns in Vancouver-Center. The influx of heroin addicts to St. Pauls will continue unabated.

4. Garth Turner will lose his seat in Halton. After painful minutes of self introspection he will announce the opening of his MeMeMe Museum. It will honor the memory of digital democracy as well as marketing bi-polar investment advice. Buy Nortel!!!

5. Elizabeth May will lose to Peter Mckay. In a fit of pique Liz will renounce her Canadian citizenship and vow to become an American community organizer in the ACORN/Barry Obama tradition. A disenfranchised, unemployed, recycling technition (bottle collector)will find her overbite enchanting. The seeds of a second Camelot will be sewn.

6. Bob Rae and Michael Ignatief will win their seats although not the one they really desire. Knife sales in Canada will peak October 15/08.

7. Frodo Cherniak will be forever scared from his experience on Mt. Doom. As with his namesake he will quietly fade into oblivion. Those of us on the interweb with a taste for unintended satire will mourn.

8. Stephane Dionne will uncharacteristically collapse into a blathering puddle of recrimination and self pity. Nobody will be surprised.

9. Stephen Harper will accept a strengthened minority mandate and continue with incremental changes. Pragmatism will prevail.

10. The frothing left will despair until we start this process over again in 22 months.

Syncro

disclaimer: The opinions, attitudes and predictions of the author are in no way, shape or form reflective of Syncrodox Sez.

Syncrodox Sez reserves the right to denounce any or all of the above to cover my ass. Thanks Frodo!

Stephane Dionne's Top Ten Excuses

Stephane Dionne's Top Ten Reasons Why He Couldn't Answer the Question

1. My dog Koyoto...he ate my hanswer.

2. Bob and Higgy de treaten to give me da wedgie hif I say hanything!

3. Hit has never hoccured to me dat I might be Prime Minister.

4. In university I hask de questions!

5. I ave a hard time to ear the music of the hinglesh language....Could you sing da question?

6. Dis question of da heconomy is biased.......what about herconomy?

7. I ave a disability....I ham ard of hunderstanding.

8. Do you tink it's izzy to make sense?

9. Dat's not FAIR!!!!! BUSHARPER....BUSHARPER....BUSHARPER!!!!!

10. I may be dense but Mr. Arper is FAT.....

Cherniak, Turner and Kinsella A Metaphor in the Making?

During an election that has seen the "coming of age" of the blogosphere we still manage to have our juvenile delinquents, Some by geek, some by cheap and yet others by design.

Design first. He of the war room...the kicker of asses...presides not over the battle field but snipes at the knaves...Cheap....snipes randomly and clings to the Esther of Shaye...and he of the geek...the geek lives in oblivion to fight another day!

Syncro