Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Election Day Predictions

Today being the big day I decided to regale you all with some poignant predictions. In no particular order:

1. Regardless of the overall outcome, Warren Kinsella will claim he knew better....many within the LPC will swoon with awe and admiration.

2. Wacko Jacko will claim victory....kitchen tables and main streets around the country will feel appreciated.

3. Hedy Fry will be out moonbatted in Vancouver-Center...The MSM will proclaim this as a breakthrough for the Greens (as opposed to the Red-Greens). None will acknowledge the moonbattery of voting patterns in Vancouver-Center. The influx of heroin addicts to St. Pauls will continue unabated.

4. Garth Turner will lose his seat in Halton. After painful minutes of self introspection he will announce the opening of his MeMeMe Museum. It will honor the memory of digital democracy as well as marketing bi-polar investment advice. Buy Nortel!!!

5. Elizabeth May will lose to Peter Mckay. In a fit of pique Liz will renounce her Canadian citizenship and vow to become an American community organizer in the ACORN/Barry Obama tradition. A disenfranchised, unemployed, recycling technition (bottle collector)will find her overbite enchanting. The seeds of a second Camelot will be sewn.

6. Bob Rae and Michael Ignatief will win their seats although not the one they really desire. Knife sales in Canada will peak October 15/08.

7. Frodo Cherniak will be forever scared from his experience on Mt. Doom. As with his namesake he will quietly fade into oblivion. Those of us on the interweb with a taste for unintended satire will mourn.

8. Stephane Dionne will uncharacteristically collapse into a blathering puddle of recrimination and self pity. Nobody will be surprised.

9. Stephen Harper will accept a strengthened minority mandate and continue with incremental changes. Pragmatism will prevail.

10. The frothing left will despair until we start this process over again in 22 months.

Syncro

disclaimer: The opinions, attitudes and predictions of the author are in no way, shape or form reflective of Syncrodox Sez.

Syncrodox Sez reserves the right to denounce any or all of the above to cover my ass. Thanks Frodo!

8 comments:

Scooter Van Neuter, biatch said...

That's really interesting, but who the heck are these people? Are they are Canadalodians?

BTW, where is your country? Is it like beside Montana or something, or is it further east?

Inquiring minds want to know....

Anonymous said...

Very funny, and sadly close to the truth. If you would please predict our elections with the same acute accuracy, I could stop watching the news and start packing. Teresa

syncrodox said...

Scooter

ENE actually.

Boma by six...start paki'n T

Syncro

Anonymous said...

Heil Harper!

syncrodox said...

Anony

Hitler reference...according to Godwins Law you lose!

Syncro

Anonymous said...

No, Godwin only applies to off topic Nazi references. Since the topic is Stephen Harper, it is on topic.

Heil Harper!

Anonymous said...

Sieg Heil!

syncrodox said...

Anony

You didn't pull an AP and photoshop that pic...did ya?

Syncro